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“Am I with the right person?” Most of us may have asked this question at least once in our lives. I am definitely.
To help you, your friends may ask: “Well, do you love them?” Then you return to the house and wander the conversation in your head. “Yes, I love them!” You say to yourself. But how can you be sure? Are you ready to spend your whole life with only one partner?
The heart of the stomach that you might have just had when reading the phrase “your whole life” is the passion known as pain – the overwhelming fear you feel when facing a big option. I felt the pain of myself in this situation – and the existential philosophy really helped me understand this.
But let’s start from the beginning: Why do we feel generous? He – she It arises from uncertainty – In our example, it is a choice between staying with the person you enjoy for life, or separation.
Pain is the result of the conflict between two values we cherish as much: in this case, love and freedom. It is painful because we want both options but we can only have one, because they pull us in opposite directions.
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The Danish philosopher, Surin Kirkegaard (1813-1855) argued Pain arises because we are free. Contrary to what most of us think, we do not like freedom. Or at least, we love a good degree of it, but certainly not As much as we already have.
What we love more than freedom is certainty. Suppose I get a formula that tells you absolutely what is the best path to work for every decision that you must make in your life. You will not feel more pain, and you will not feel doubtful that the decision you made is the best.
Do you want this formula? If the answer is yes, you have just recognized that certainty is more important for you than freedom.
People who imagine themselves may think that they are independent that they want more freedom and reject my form. They may claim that they do not mind feeling anguish. But there are possibilities that they have not yet faced the largest decisions that a person can face.
These people did not suffer from freedom to the extent of urging him to have real pain. After all, the pain is a clear sign of discomfort (which you can feel evenly) – and if we do not want certainty, we will not feel it in the first place.
Can anguish be overcome?
French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980) said It cannot be overcome. But there is a reason for the difference.
First, you need to understand that pain is a fundamental feature of life. Accept this, and you will be less fearful.
You also have to accept it is that no one has the formula that you previously described. This may seem trivial, but when a big decision waving for us, we are sure to yearn for certainty and this formula. Usually there is no objective “ideal” path.
The old national exhibition, Berlin
Of course, we may have an illusion that we have chosen the “right” or “wrong” choice in a specific position. But that is The narration is a fallacy – This means that in reality, we simply do not know what would have happened if we made another decision.
Then the hard part comes. It takes courage to choose what you think is suitable for you. However, you should feel comfortable, in the fact that no one usually knows what is more right for you better than yourself.
Insight suggestions from intimate friends or families only reveal the information that was already inside you. No one accepts the values of others if they are not really them.
Study yourself, identify the beliefs you cherish on others, and start from there. If your choices are the deepest consequences of your beliefs, it is unlikely to feel wrong or certain. Reward the demand for certainty, and you will have neutral pain.
